you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
