"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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