i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
