I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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