This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
