Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
