I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He? As in you personified your dick?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
