a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
