I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
