I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
