You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
