Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
