she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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