so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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