I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
