they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You can't special order awesome
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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