i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
