Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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