Soap is not a condiment
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
