I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
