Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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