i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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