so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
