whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
