Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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