I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
