Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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