: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
