Apparently you make a good broom.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
