There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
