Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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