Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
