you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
