i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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