I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
