True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
