But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
