allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
