It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
