I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
