Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
