Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
