Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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