just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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