oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
