i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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