Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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