So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
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