she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
