You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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